Ordinary Thoughts, Essays and Short Stories

Mobile Monikers

Buzzfeed.com – Audrey Engvalson

I haven’t been feeling particularly creative of late, but my OCD brain couldn’t allow the month to pass without writing a blog post. I landed on a topic that periodically crosses my mind – only to be promptly forgotten until the next time it pops up – so I thought I’d put it into words before it had a chance to slip away again. 

I’m talking about vanity plates. Yeah, you read that right. I actually do spend precious time pondering those cryptic little blurbs affixed to vehicles I find myself sitting behind at stop lights. Sometimes they’re pretty easy to decipher, like, “BYBYGAS” on a Tesla, but other times they’re little puzzles that seem impossible to solve, like “NDCI4BL.” I’m embarrassed to admit that, for me, that’s pretty much what it stands for …“Indecipherable.”

Either way, I find them entertaining. A deep dive online provided all kinds of nifty examples, so I thought I’d share some below…along with my unsolicited commentary. (If you can’t figure out what they mean, feel free to scroll to the end for the answers):

 

And it’s duct tape for the win!

Ranker.com — Article by Samantha Dillinger

If you weren’t old enough to pay attention to the news in the ‘90s, this may soar right over your head.

Buzzfeed.com — Article by Audrey Engvalson

 

 

Literally.

Buzzfeed.com — Article by Audrey Engvalson

I do hope this is simply a TV fan and not someone continuing to carry the torch.

Buzzfeed.com — Article by Audrey Engvalson

What are the odds that this guy’s an introvert?

Buzzfeed.com — Article by Audrey Engvalson

In your best Meryl Streep Aussie voice, read the whole thing…plate holder and all.

Buzzfeed.com — Article by Audrey Engvalson

The driver’s name is Buzz. His other car is a spaceship.

Buzzfeed.com — Article by Audrey Engvalson

 

Mr. Obvious at his finest.

Buzzfeed.com — Article by Audrey Engvalson

Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.

Ranker.com — Article by Samantha Dillinger

Anyone who has ever taken a kid on a car ride will need zero help solving this one.

Today.com — Article by Kerry Breen

While most vanity plates make their way onto the streets without issue, there are many that get rejected. I intended to share some of those as well, but the ones I kept coming across were pretty potty-mouthed, and I try to keep this blog G-rated. If you’re curious, just Google “rejected vanity plates.” And if you’re anything like me, you’ll find many of them sound an awful lot like the raunchy musings of a 14-year-old boy. 

Getting back to less risqué ideas, I used to think it might be cool to have a vanity plate myself. I considered “INTRVRT,” “BOOKWRM,” and “WRITER,” but I’m sure they’ve all been taken.

Honestly, though, the only one that would reflect who I truly am inside would be this: “PRDMAMA.”

Odds are, that’s been taken, too. And that’s okay. I don’t think my girls need me to advertise how I feel. If I’ve been doing my job right, they already know. 

ANSWERS

EPIC FAI **: Without that ‘L,’ it’s an epic fail.

NOT OJ ***: The person who owns this vehicle is letting everyone know he is not OJ Simpson. (After being charged with the murder of his ex-wife and her friend in July 1994, Simpson rode as a passenger in a white Bronco that was slowly being chased by police. The low-speed chase was broadcast live on TV and went on for about two hours.)

ASKEW ***: This plate was deliberately installed crooked.

D3XT3R ***: “Dexter” was a TV series about a serial killer. A really bloody serial killer. (This ranks as one of my favorite shows of all time. Don’t judge.)

PPL SUCK ***: People suck. (My personal assessment is that this car owner may have an attitude. And not a good one.)

DINGO 8 ***: Using the words on the plate holder as well as the plate itself, it reads, “A Dingo Ate My Baby” which is a rather macabre paraphrase of Meryl Streep’s character yelling, “A dingo’s got my baby!” It’s from the 1988 movie, A Cry in the Dark.

NBEYOND ***: The car is an Infiniti, and this relates to Buzz Lightyear saying, “To infinity and beyond!” in the Toy Story movies.

IM A CAR ***: I don’t think this needs an explanation.

VLAD THE **: Including the name of the car model, Impala, it represents “Vlad the Impaler,” a 15th-century ruler whose name inspired Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

PB4WEGO *: Pee before we go. (As a parent, this may be my favorite.)

Photo Credits:

*  Today.com – Article by Kerry Breen

 **  Ranker.com – Article by Samantha Dillinger

***  Buzzfeed.com – Article by Audrey Engvalson

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1 Comment

  1. Jennifer Parrish

    Love you, mom!

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